5 tips for guilt-free self-care

Do you also find it so difficult to take good care of yourself? There's always someone else who needs your help, or even if you've scheduled some me-time, one of your children demands your attention. Then you push your own need for self-care aside, wanting to be there for those around you. This makes it increasingly difficult to actually take good care of yourself, because you feel like others desperately need you. Guilt rears its ugly head.

But hey, you need yourself just as much. In terms of rest, relaxation, energy, or something else. How do you manage this for yourself? Below are 5 tips. There's sure to be one you can start with right away. So you can take care of yourself too. Guilt-free.

Tip 1: Schedule time and space for yourself

In every phase of life, you're pulled by the people around you. Before you know it, you forget yourself and lose your own space. Space to do what's good for you. A walk alone or a day out with a friend. You need those recharge moments, but they don't come often enough because we also have to do so much ourselves. It's all in your head. No one tells you, but your thoughts control your body, and therefore your behavior. And so you end up doing a lot of things you don't necessarily want to do.

Start with short, 15-30-minute moments for yourself and schedule them in your calendar. Tell those around you so they know and can support you. Initially, you'll have to claim this time, but over time it will become a habit, the moments will become longer, and you'll increasingly sense what you need.

Question for you : What's the first thing that comes to mind when you think about taking care of yourself? What don't you do? And what do you want to do?

Tip 2: Focus on what you can do

We often complain about how things are going and how we feel like we have to fight for our own space. That's why you're often tired, easily irritated, and stressed. So you don't want that anymore. You want things to be different.

To change things and practice more self-care, it's important to know what you do want and what works for you. This will help you feel better about yourself and experience more peace and relaxation. Seriously examine how you're doing now and what you can do to improve your life and stop others from invading your space.

Note : Take good care of yourself. If you're not feeling well, stop what you're doing. Build positive energy first, and then move on.

Tip 3: Use self-compassion and take yourself less seriously

Energy boosters make you feel strongly that self-care is essential, because you'll immediately feel more optimistic and less fatigued. That's what you want, so it's important to let go of the need to do more. To have compassion for yourself. In other words, to look at yourself with loving attention and understanding and make choices based on that.

Give yourself a look inward, so you can stay more present with yourself and be less focused on others. You can still be yourself, but you'll also start supporting yourself. Just like you would with a good friend. And no, you don't have to do everything perfectly right away. Because then you'll suddenly have to do everything again. Keep it light and airy. Don't take it too seriously.

Question for you : Where can you take yourself less seriously? Think of tasks, aspects of tasks, people, events. But also thoughts and feelings that arise from a sense of obligation and what is expected of you. Beliefs in your head that are supposed to be that way or feel imposed.

Tip 4: Know what's really important to you

The opposite of your beliefs are your inner drivers. They relate to what truly matters: what you want, your intrinsic motivation. These are positive guides: your values. They can make your life much easier and brighter. They help you make choices, set boundaries, and prioritize. If you do this based on your values, you'll experience little to no guilt. Because you live according to what you truly value and are no longer so preoccupied with what's expected of you. It's precisely this last point that brings guilt, because you can't always meet expectations or you hesitate and then end up trying to please others.

Think of values such as: trust or self-confidence, openness, balance, flexibility, challenge, health, joy/pleasure, self-care.

Note : Let go of who you think you should be. Explore, feel who you are, and do that.

Tip 5: Increase your resilience

Now you might be thinking: great tips, but how do I do all that? You regularly experience periods of stress or setbacks and problems. It's easier to get discouraged. That's why it's good to maintain your resilience. You can increase it by asking for help or support, knowing what you truly want, and doing things that make you happy (see the tips above). This will increase your ability to deal with whatever comes your way.

As a result, you'll continue to choose to schedule time and space for yourself, to focus on what you can do, and to feel self-compassion. You'll feel more confident, both literally and figuratively.

Question for you : What specifically do you want to focus on to increase your resilience?

These 5 tips will help you take care of yourself differently. From a positive perspective: what works for you and what you truly value. And therefore, without guilt. Or at least less so 😊

If you would like to know more about this, please read on in the PosiYou Inspiration Activity Book .

The author: Yura Boerma

Yura from Happlify crew member PosiYou is one of the first coaches to join Happlify. It's the go-to platform if you're looking for more control over your life. Yura's blog posts >